Getting Settled

Lt Col  (*&33%2@
Commander of the Research vessel Fuel Hunter X878

Captains Log Day 45:

Assuming homo sapien form is somewhat more complicated than initially thought. Our natural smaller bodies are more efficient than humans.  (If we were not shapeshifted, they would think we look like the Ewoks in one of their popular video series.)

Although homo sapiens appear to all look identical (much like colony lifeforms such as  insects and fish)  from a distance, we have found an amazing and unexplained diversity of appearance of individual members of this species, when viewed up close.  

when we started the shape-shifting algorithm, to appear human-like, we all tended to look like one of their celebrities, they call Ted Cruz.  (He is apparently some sort of host for Tea Parties.  It's all a bit nonsensical and confusing. We'll sort it out later...)  We changed that shift pattern because when we would go out, crowds of people would follow us, some pelting us with cheeseballs.  


Development of human anatomy has been primitive.  Their sexual organs are located in difficult to reach places, and their ahem excretory orifices perform double duty as pleasure centers.  Some of the crew find this mildly erotic, especially fond of females with large breasts.  Since most of the population of our galaxy reproduce by cloning, we no longer have a birth cycle, and everyone is slim with flat chests.   

What the frell is this supposed to mean?

WTF? One of the crew remembered the pictures on a piece of space junk that we encountered on one of our early journeys  beyond the outer solar system.  It had no active electronic signals in or out. The dead hunk of metal pod had a plaque on the side of it.  See the photo to the right: 

The First Mate suggested  that it was supposed to be some form of blueprint.  Or primitive hieroglyphs? 
We were all scratching our Gelads  over it.   We couldn't figure it out what it mean't. In the end, we just vaporized the frelling thing, since it seemed to have no practical use.

The Wiki* says that the space probe was called Pioneer 10 and plaque came from Earth and was intended to explain things to aliens, like us, I guess.  Well that's one puzzle solved. Oops. 

[Still the plaque doesn't prepare a visitor for  midgets and giants and people who have large penises and breasts or humans who wear clothes] 


*All knowledge about the planet is collected into an application called Wikipedia.  I call it Wiki for short.